"Comparison is the thief of all joy."
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I often like to reflect and evaluate my life in terms of the G-spel. Sometimes this happens quite often, other times I let a lot of time and heartache happen before I reflect, then always wonder why I didn't do it sooner. Recently, I have been thinking a lot about the aspects of my life during periods of sadness and discontentment. I have come to conclude that the root is most always comparison. So today, I will reflect aloud. I will let you in on my heart dissection, and what the L-rd is so graciously teaching me.
I have heard this saying ["comparison is the thief of all joy"] time and time again, and how true it is. But sometimes, I just can't stop. It's a trap, you know. A deadly one. One that leads you to elevate man over God and causes you to long for this world over the eternal.
When I realize I am discontent or not joyful, it always comes back to this pattern. I will realize that I have been comparing my life to someone else, and I begin to spiral downwards into this black hole.
When I realize I am discontent or not joyful, it always comes back to this pattern. I will realize that I have been comparing my life to someone else, and I begin to spiral downwards into this black hole.
Their children obey better.
She is thinner.
She has better clothes.
Her husband did that for her.
Her house is so beautiful.
She is funny and so liked.
This list goes on. And really, there is nothing wrong with recognizing these qualities in people, but it's when we hold our life next to theirs that we become dissatisfied with our own.
The result:
We are harsh to our children because they aren't obedient like those other kids
I become consumed in outward appearance
I want more money so I can buy more clothes
I become bitter with my husband
I want more money to decorate better OR I just want to get a new house
I try to become more like her
And slowly the joy is sucked out of life and thanksgiving turns to utter dissatisfaction.
As long as we live our lives to the standard of someone else, we are doomed for discontentment because there will always be something more to compare. We will continually strive to obtain what isn't meant to be ours. The only life we were created to mimic is Jesus. Once we take our eyes off of His life, we strip the joy from living and replace it with the fear of man and exchange something that is eternal for something that fades.
I have learned, specifically through my own life, a few harmful results of comparison:
Covetousness is a breeding ground for dissatisfaction. I didn't know I wanted that thing until I saw it on her! We live in an age where we flaunt everything. Instagram and Facebook (or any other social network site), is a blessing and a curse. It is so fun to keep up with people we never would otherwise, but it also allows us to create the kind of life we want others to see. There have been so many articles written about this, but the reason for my point is not to harp on the risks of social networking. My point is that we have never been more exposed to the danger of comparison like we are today. We can literally see the life we don't have-- decorated and made perfect for the eyes of all the followers. We covet their looks, their home, their personality, their creativity, how good they cook, how cute their children are, how clean their house is, and the list goes on. I have actually had to take a hiatus from these sites when I found myself creeping towards coveting the life or things of another. Covetousness through comparison is harmful, it is dangerous, and it elevates man over God.
2. We develop false expectations of relationships through comparison.
We see how those children, her husband, his wife, those friends, that mom, etc, perform in a way that we want OUR said relationships to perform. And it doesn't happen. So we get mad, upset, and bitter at our children, husband, wife, friends, mom, etc. because we have unknowingly created expectations for those relationships that essentially are not met. We demand for them to fulfill expectations that formed while we observed relationships between other people. And it is not okay. It is dangerous, it is harmful, it can ruin your relationships, and it elevates man over God.
3. We justify through comparison.
We are flawed. We are sinners. So, we often desire things that we know will not reflect the glory of God. Yet, many times, we do it anyways. We look at someone who claims to hold the same convictions, see how that person is living out those sinful desires, and then we justify our actions because they are doing it too. We see how that person may outwardly appear that everything is fine, and living that way or doing that thing is not affecting their relationship with J-sus, so we follow suit. Justification of ungodly desires through comparison is harmful and dangerous. It takes our eyes off of J-sus and elevates man over God.
My desire and hope is that I will look to J-sus, always. I will compare my life to HIS and not to another. When I find myself spiraling down into the dark hole of comparison, filled with sadness and bitterness, I realize the only way out is J-sus. The ONLY way.
There will always be someone skinnier
There will always be someone wealthier
There will always be someone with that personality
There will always be someone...who is not me
His desire is for us to be more like Chr-st, not someone else.
J-sus is ALWAYS better.
J-sus has ALWAYS and will ALWAYS be the way out of that dark hole.
3. We justify through comparison.
We are flawed. We are sinners. So, we often desire things that we know will not reflect the glory of God. Yet, many times, we do it anyways. We look at someone who claims to hold the same convictions, see how that person is living out those sinful desires, and then we justify our actions because they are doing it too. We see how that person may outwardly appear that everything is fine, and living that way or doing that thing is not affecting their relationship with J-sus, so we follow suit. Justification of ungodly desires through comparison is harmful and dangerous. It takes our eyes off of J-sus and elevates man over God.
My desire and hope is that I will look to J-sus, always. I will compare my life to HIS and not to another. When I find myself spiraling down into the dark hole of comparison, filled with sadness and bitterness, I realize the only way out is J-sus. The ONLY way.
There will always be someone skinnier
There will always be someone wealthier
There will always be someone with that personality
There will always be someone...who is not me
His desire is for us to be more like Chr-st, not someone else.
J-sus is ALWAYS better.
J-sus has ALWAYS and will ALWAYS be the way out of that dark hole.
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. (John 1:1-2)
You see? J-sus is the Word. And He was there when God created the world. His purpose was and has always been to save us from ourselves...even before sin was in the world.
Jesus has ALWAYS been plan A. He has ALWAYS been the way out. He will ALWAYS be the way out.
My desire for all of us is that we will ONLY look to find satisfaction in J-sus and not in people. This is the only way we will be able to eliminate discontentment and truly live joyfully.
