Comparison

"Comparison is the thief of all joy."

Source of image

I often like to reflect and evaluate my life in terms of the G-spel. Sometimes this happens quite often, other times I let a lot of time and heartache happen before I reflect, then always wonder why I didn't do it sooner. Recently, I have been thinking a lot about the aspects of my life during periods of sadness and discontentment. I have come to conclude that the root is most always comparison. So today, I will reflect aloud. I will let you in on my heart dissection, and what the L-rd is so graciously teaching me.

I have heard this saying ["comparison is the thief of all joy"] time and time again, and how true it is. But sometimes, I just can't stop. It's a trap, you know. A deadly one. One that leads you to elevate man over God and causes you to long for this world over the eternal. 

When I realize I am discontent or not joyful, it always comes back to this pattern. I will realize that I have been comparing my life to someone else, and I begin to spiral downwards into this black hole. 

Their children obey better. 

She is thinner. 

She has better clothes. 

Her husband did that for her. 

Her house is so beautiful. 

She is funny and so liked. 

This list goes on. And really, there is nothing wrong with recognizing these qualities in people, but it's when we hold our life next to theirs that we become dissatisfied with our own. 

The result:

We are harsh to our children because they aren't obedient like those other kids

I become consumed in outward appearance

I want more money so I can buy more clothes

I become bitter with my husband

I want more money to decorate better OR I just want to get a new house

I try to become more like her

And slowly the joy is sucked out of life and thanksgiving turns to utter dissatisfaction. 

As long as we live our lives to the standard of someone else, we are doomed for discontentment because there will always be something more to compare. We will continually strive to obtain what isn't meant to be ours. The only life we were created to mimic is Jesus. Once we take our eyes off of His life, we strip the joy from living and replace it with the fear of man and exchange something that is eternal for something that fades. 

I have learned, specifically through my own life, a few harmful results of comparison:

1. We covet through comparison

Covetousness is a breeding ground for dissatisfaction. I didn't know I wanted that thing until I saw it on her! We live in an age where we flaunt everything. Instagram and Facebook (or any other social network site), is a blessing and a curse. It is so fun to keep up with people we never would otherwise, but it also allows us to create the kind of life we want others to see. There have been so many articles written about this, but the reason for my point is not to harp on the risks of social networking. My point is that we have never been more exposed to the danger of comparison like we are today. We can literally see the life we don't have-- decorated and made perfect for the eyes of all the followers. We covet their looks, their home, their personality, their creativity, how good they cook, how cute their children are, how clean their house is, and the list goes on. I have actually had to take a hiatus from these sites when I found myself creeping towards coveting the life or things of another. Covetousness through comparison is harmful, it is dangerous, and it elevates man over God.

2. We develop false expectations of relationships through comparison. 

We see how those children, her husband, his wife, those friends, that mom, etc, perform in a way that we want OUR said relationships to perform. And it doesn't happen. So we get mad, upset, and bitter at our children, husband, wife, friends, mom, etc. because we have unknowingly created expectations for those relationships that essentially are not met. We demand for them to fulfill expectations that formed while we observed relationships between other people. And it is not okay. It is dangerous, it is harmful, it can ruin your relationships, and it elevates man over God.

3. We justify through comparison. 
We are flawed. We are sinners. So, we often desire things that we know will not reflect the glory of God. Yet, many times, we do it anyways. We look at someone who claims to hold the same convictions, see how that person is living out those sinful desires, and then we justify our actions because they are doing it too. We see how that person may outwardly appear that everything is fine, and living that way or doing that thing is not affecting their relationship with J-sus, so we follow suit. Justification of ungodly desires through comparison is harmful and dangerous. It takes our eyes off of J-sus and elevates man over God.

My desire and hope is that I will look to J-sus, always. I will compare my life to HIS and not to another. When I find myself spiraling down into the dark hole of comparison, filled with sadness and bitterness, I realize the only way out is J-sus. The ONLY way.

There will always be someone skinnier
There will always be someone wealthier
There will always be someone with that personality
There will always be someone...who is not me

His desire is for us to be more like Chr-st, not someone else.
J-sus is ALWAYS better.
J-sus has ALWAYS and will ALWAYS be the way out of that dark hole.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. (John 1:1-2)

You see? J-sus is the Word. And He was there when God created the world. His purpose was and has always been to save us from ourselves...even before sin was in the world.

Jesus has ALWAYS been plan A. He has ALWAYS been the way out. He will ALWAYS be the way out.

My desire for all of us is that we will ONLY look to find satisfaction in J-sus and not in people. This is the only way we will be able to eliminate discontentment and truly live joyfully.

Do we really believe it's true?

As believers in Jesus and the Bible, we should hold missions in a high priority. If we truly believe in two eternal destinations, then how can we not believe it is absolutely necessary? I have noticed when discussing the idea of international missions with other believers, most people (myself included) respond with, "Well, everyone can't go. People need to stay here. There are so many people here that need to hear and believe." True. But these questions need to be asked:

1. Is this an excuse for not wanting to go?
2. Am I just fearful of being sent so I convince myself that people (aka me) are needed here?
3. If this is true, am I actually using my daily life as a way to share?

Okay so let's talk about this for a second. People are needed here. Yes, we have established this fact. Did you know there are approximately 6.7 billion people in this world and approximately 67% of people in this world AD 30 to present have never heard the name of Jesus (Source click here).  The Joshua project researched, "86% of all unreached people groups lie within the region called the 10/40 window, which is between 10 and 40 degrees north and from the west coast of Africa to the east coast of Asia." There are so many more convicting statistics such as these that need to be addressed, and I encourage you to look at them. (Click on the above link).

As many of you know, we are moving overseas for a bit. I do not, for one second, want anyone to think that I have it all together in this area. Originally, these words came out of my mouth, "Eric, I am NOT moving there." When I tell people that I said those words, more than often, they become a little fearful. It's like we think that the word NO means God will make us go. Like it's opposite day and "no" really means "yes," to God. So, we just won't say anything. We convince ourselves, "Not everyone is suppose to go. He needs me here. Okay good, I'm staying." We become fearful that God will make us do something we don't want to do. If you are one of those people, let me encourage you in this: If you end up going somewhere or doing something where you originally said NO and now its happening, it's because you want to. God will change you. Don't fear. If God wants you to go, He will change your heart and allow you to have a desire to go.

We serve a good God, who loves us. He is not out to make us miserable. BUT He does command us to tell people what He has done on the cross. He does command that, and it can be uncomfortable. We probably will experience discomfort. Don't forget that we are told that the world will hate us if we boldly stand for Him. If we truly feel that our ministry is right here, we really need to evaluate if we are actually allowing our "staying here" mindset to be about the Gospel and not the comforts of an "easier" life.

 Something I am so weary about in our generation, that I believe can be a hindrance to the spread of the Gospel, is our misguidance between love and tolerance. Our generation is all about love. LOVE LOVE LOVE. Don't get me wrong, I love, love. We need to be loving. Love covers a multitude of sins. Because of His great love for us, he died for us while we were yet sinners. We always should love. But what I see with our generation is that tolerance has become a substitute for love. A tolerance for issues that is so clearly sin (yes, I said SIN) in His Word. A tolerance that forces us to keep our mouths shut. A tolerance that makes us fearful to share or stand up for the Gospel. A tolerance that so deceives us into thinking that we are actually being loving. AND THEN we convince ourselves that through our "loving" tolerance people will see Jesus because of the way we are acting. Well, ya know, there are so many loving people in this world that don't believe in Jesus. In fact, there are many unbelievers who are better at loving than those who are believers...so how the heck are we suppose to tell the difference if we only rely on our actions and never say a word? Let me make this clear, I'm not against tolerance by any means. I believe that we should be tolerant of most things! Just not things that go directly against the Bible.

So, let me ask this, if we truly, truly believe the Gospel, truly believe that His Word is absolute truth, that there is a Heaven and a Hell, and we are going to one place or the other when we die...how UNloving is it if we don't share what we know? If we don't share it with our coworker we have known for the past year??  If we don't share with our neighbors whom we have lived beside the past 3 years (I'm talking about myself!). So, if our reason for staying is because some people need to stay here, then we better believe that. We better be sharing the Gospel. We better be using "here" as our mission field. If not, if we claim to truly believe what the Bible says is true, yet are choosing to stay "here" because we are coasting through life in comfort and style, let's just be honest and say, "actually, I'm staying here because I don't believe in the truth and the urgency of the Gospel."

Sometimes, I'm hesitant to post things that are so opinionated...because of the whole tolerance thing. I know the last quote was a bit direct, harsh, and steps on a lot of toes. Believe me, I am stepping on my own. But that's the thing. We don't want to admit our unbelief. But let's call it what it is. Unbelief. And I have it. I'm guilty of it. I am SO SO guilty of everything I write about! When I don't tell people, especially people I have known and I have a great relationship with, then I am not grasping the urgency of the Gospel.

So here is my plea, let's pray urgently that God would give us a heart of urgency. We are humans. Imperfect ones. Humans that need a ton of grace because we so often forget the Cross. And when we forget the Cross, we forget our dependence upon it. We need Him. Badly. So let's pray that God gives us a heart and mind of remembrance, thanksgiving, and urgency. And let's share it, shall we?

**A note to those who don't believe in Jesus and have a relationship with him: if someone who does believe in Him has shared the Gospel with you, I want to personally let you know that it is because that person absolutely loves you. That is the reason they shared this great news with you. They love you. They truly believe that there are two eternal destinations. They truly believe in the joy experienced in a relationship with Jesus. So they told you about it. They shared their most beloved and prized gift with you, salvation. For those who have had a negative experience with someone trying to share the Gospel, I am truly sorry. It is such amazing news, I'm sorry that it has been distorted as something negative. I'm sorry if they were overbearing and unloving in the way that they shared with you, but just know, it's because you are loved that you have heard.