He is good, I promise.

I write this following post to boast about G-d's kindness, once again. Over and over He has proved Himself faithful and good, yet over and over I question it. Someone so unworthy to receive any of His grace, I constantly find myself covered in it. He is good, I promise. 

Today was a harder one. When our nanny arrived this morning, I found myself a little more reluctant to hand over my most prized worldly possession, and teared up as I left for school. Discouraged that I no longer get to spend all my day with this sweet little one, I began to cry a little as we waited on our ride to school.

Then I dropped my breakfast in a puddle. 

We arrived at school and all was great just like it usually is, I even went on a run.  But today I just longed to be home. North Carolina, home. I left school early so I could go spend the rest of my time with Addie. Before our nanny left, I walked to the market and bank...to find the ATM wasn't working with my card. The man that worked at the bank tried to explain something to me...maybe why it wasn't working, but of course, we didn't understand each other. I use to think it was kinda funny. Not today. I just want my money, man. I finally gave up on any sort of communication and charades and walked tearfully back towards home. 

After our nanny left, I am home for a few hours by myself until Eric's gets off work. But remember, today just wasn't a good day. Which means, today I just need someone who speaks English to be my friend. 

Addie and I went outside for a bit and I found myself once again, tearing up. Trying to hold it together. I really just want to be home. So I began talking with Him. L-rd, please reveal more kindness to me. I just really need an English speaking friend. Or something. I felt so selfish in my prayers. He has given me so much and is always kind, I don't deserve anything more than what He has already shown. He has even provided a wonderful team for us, but I have to take a bus to get there houses and I have no idea how to do that. 

So Eric arrives and I am so thankful to not be alone any longer. He then proceeds to ask if I care if he goes on a run. I guess that's fine. He could sense my hesitation, so he suggests that we all go on a walk. 

A few minutes into our walk, we hear, "You must not be a local, you have a BOB." (A BOB is the name of our fancy jogging stroller that I so adamantly begged for while I was preggers. Actually, I knew I wanted this thing before I was preggers.). We stopped where we were and found this couple with grocery bags in hand. I immediately thought, english. ENGLISH. They speak ENGLISH!! We began talking and found out they were from Boston. They immediately invited us over to their flat, where we hung out for the next hour.

He is good, I promise. He used something as silly as my materialistic drive to own a BOB for His glory. And it isn't because this couple heard us speaking English, that they stopped us. In fact, they were in a taxi on their way home, saw our BOB, and asked the driver to drop them off right in front of us. I pr-yed for Him to reveal more kindness. And He did. HE DID. After all He has shown, I asked for more, and He so patiently and gently provided it. How often do we ask Him to do more than what he has already done? Really, all we need is to know that we have J-sus, and that should be enough to satisfy our longings for the rest of eternity. He knows our fickle hearts, our worries, and doubts. I am so thankful we have a patient G-d who grafts us into eternity with Him, through J-sus. Even through all our imperfections, He still wants us.